Tuesday 24 June 2008

HELP ISOLATED DWARVES FROM JUST £2 A MONTH

I was recently inspired by an overheard conversation in which a woman referred to someone as, 'cut orf.' For no other reason than this rhymes with dwarf I immediately imagined the ramifications of 'cut orf dwarves.' Not dwarves with their electricity supplies disconnected, rather vertically challenged individuals suffering social ostracism. In effect, isolated dwarves who may find reaching help (or reaching anything, come to that) difficult. Now, for as little as £2 a month, readers of NAROLC'S WORLD are in a unique position to help these suffering shorties to rise above their misery. Together we can help end their suffering, shortly.
Readers interested in making a donation can send a cheque or postal order, made payable to NINNY'S CAUSES c/o NAROLC'S WORLD or contact NAROLC via e-mail: artworker1@yahoo.com

Wednesday 18 June 2008

Thursday 12 June 2008

CHELSEA

There are Chelsea buns,
There is Chelsea FC,
There is Chelsea Girl,
There are Chelsea pensioners.

Elvis Costello doesn’t want to go there,
Chelsea isn’t on the Monopoly board,
Unlike Mayfair,
Still it’s quite exclusive,
Attracting both the rich and the reclusive.

Its economy is truly booming,
When the annual flower show is blooming,
Media coverage of Chelsea,
In the 1980s,
Invented Sloane rangers.

Chelsea, at its most crowded,
Is always full of strangers.
I hope these words will help…
To raise awareness of all aspects of Chelsea,
Including its dangers.

Thursday 5 June 2008

ERNEST SEEKER'S PROVERBIAL PONDERINGS #2 (AND WHY HE'S DOING IT!)

Too many hands make light work... Presumably of spoiling the broth!

The Devil finds work for idle hands... Is he Eric Idle's agent? Also, couldn't he be put to use in government as an employment minister?

He who laughs last laughs loudest. Only because everyone else has finished.

Ernest is hoping to self-publish a pamphlet soon, containing more of his profound proverbial ponderings, which he hopes the public will buy. The pamphlet is likely to be inexpensive, Ernest reassures NAROLC'S WORLD, and he hopes any sales will raise funds for a cause close to his heart: The Godalming Gentlemen with Goitre Group (G.G.G.G)with all proceeds going towards these afflicted gentlemen.

All enquiries, please, to NAROLC by e-mail: artworker1@yahoo.com

Wednesday 4 June 2008

MOSES WAS A MORON!

A burning bush—the Old Testament attests—spoke to Moses,
But I think he set fire to it being a furtive Smoker!
There’s no point beating around the bush,
Which, at a push, Moses found,
Oh, how he clowned,
(With) And frowned upon the Israelites.
God, he travelled slowly!
His mates said, ‘Keep taking the tablets, Moses.’
‘Thanks a bunch,’ he said to them,
When they handed him some roses.
But would a rose by any other name smell as sweet,
And, in a time where biblical tales and Shakespeare compete,
How could he know?
And what would it profit the ancient prophet,
If we could show the modern state of Israel to him?


Aaron’s rod was a gift from God,
A stick that changed into a snake,
When thrown on the floors of tyrants—
Before the hand of God would appear.
With a gimmick like a snake-stick,
Aaron needn’t have been his brother’s sidekick,
Capable, as he was,
Of such a neat despot dissipation trick,
Well, he must have been thick.
Not unlike the devout believers,
In accounts of these ancient guys,
And those who believe the Gospels are the gospel truth,

Fanatical members of gospel choirs raise the roof,
Singing to raise funds to repair their church roofs,
As burbling penitents, elsewhere,
Confide their sins in a booth,
Swearing blind their lies are truth,
Maintaining, also, that swearing is uncouth,
Their faith is so blind that they need no proof.