Friday, 26 July 2013


Bella’s ruse to get to Belarus involved her exploiting her good looks.
Bella by name, Bella by nature she wasn’t.
However, she consistently got herself into people’s good books.
Despite poisoning her entire family (with Belladonna) she managed to blame their cooks.
Although considered beautiful in Italy, Bella sought flight to Belarus,
Where she fancied living like a Russian doll.
She stowed away on a plane, thanks to a corrupt airport official called Shane.
His inept pawing of her in exchange didn’t bother Bella until, when the plane landed in Minsk; she noticed on her clothes he’d left a stain.

I’d like to say that all is well with Bella.
That she’s happy and being pursued by a nice Belarusian fella.
But, alas, a lass like Bella…
Well, you just can’t tell her.
Miserable from the off, she’s seriously depressed, freezing cold and poor.
Her looks are of little use to her now, unless she should want to work as a whore.
She’s so lonely she misses her family, though before she killed them she found them a bore.
Poor Bella, what can I say?
Nothing good—so I’ll say no more.


The vast entity, in its entirety, ate an entire city.

It wasn’t pretty or anything like Godzilla.
Nor did it target Tokyo, or Seoul, or Manila.

Instead, it gobbled up Hull,
Astounding the world with its Yorkshire based cull.

People screamed, there was blood and rubble everywhere…
And that was before the entity even got there.

When it had finished eating, none of Hull was left,
The entity promptly disappeared in a vanishing act most deft.

Humber Bridge, Hull... Before it got eaten!

Thursday, 18 July 2013


ROPES, HOPES AND REASONS..., a photo by Narolc on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
Very recent work. Collage/drawing, although the collage element is proportionately tiny (bottom right-hand corner).


Manny Quinn was fed up with being taken for a dummy.
Not only did it make him cross, he also missed his mummy.
As a Jewish Irishman or an Irish Jew,
He didn’t know how to describe himself or what to do.

He certainly felt quite odd repairing golliwogs with glue.
So he tried life as a pirate, but he wasn’t a patch on his old self.

Then he took up carpentry, hanging doors and making a shelf,
Before discovering he had a wood allergy and the work was bad for his health.

Like many misfits who consider themselves failures,
Manny eventually became a taxi driver,
It wasn’t all plain sailing—one night he only earned a fiver,
Nevertheless, it has to be said, our Manny is a survivor.

After going on a communications course run by barbers,
He—once shy—became verbose,
Now, when he carries fares with his stream of incessant banter,
It makes him and his passengers close.

Or so he thinks because as a matter of fact they often find him gross.
If Manny knew this, he’d feel grossly misunderstood,
Although, perhaps the misunderstanding would be his,
After all, he believes that gross misconduct is doing something wrong 144 times!

Saturday, 13 July 2013


Plumes of smoke are fumes from a bloke with a lit pipe.
A smoker’s cough makes someone who gave up smoking sanctimoniously scoff.
Cough drops and cough mixtures are inaccurately named,
For giving people coughing fits they really can’t be blamed.
‘Don’t roll up! Don’t roll up!’ A crowd is urged by a promoter,
Outside an anti-smoking lobby’s AGM,
Until he’s told by a smoker who’s quite old: ‘Pipe down, man.:
For who were they to condemn?

Filter out all of life’s crap to avoid falling into the trap set by those with vested interests.
The Vested Interests Detection Officer invested his time in exposing such people,
But he was disabused of his suspicions by a man he wrongly accused.
‘Vested interests, me? No, I’m interested in vests!’
‘I beg your pardon,’ his wrongful accuser begs,
Before, red in the face, walking away on his podgy, trembling legs.
‘We all make mistakes.’ Later, his wife insists,
Her tone is placatory, but she balls her fists.
‘You’re right, I suppose,’ he says, then, an awkward silence follows and grows.

Elsewhere there are smokers with skin conditions, whose behaviour is quite rash,
Recommending the remedial properties of ash for dermatitis, fraudulently raising cash,
Which some of them spend on tobacco and some use to buy hash.
For smokers and non-smokers alike, life can sometimes be a drag.
Caught outdoors in a fierce hailstorm, inhaling in hail,
Breathing the fresh air of outdoors or indoors, air that’s stale.

Wednesday, 3 July 2013


ROBERT'S DRAGON, a photo by Narolc on Flickr.

Via Flickr:
This was drawn as a gift for a friend of mine.