Arthur Bloke, former fruit and vegetable stallholder (Covent Garden), incites controversy as he plays devil’s advocate—here—with his first foray into journalism.
So, disgraced athlete Dwayne Chambers—who tested positive for illicit performance enhancing drugs—is hoping to be allowed to go to Beijing. Whether the (formerly) steroid-taking sprinter is permitted to compete in the next Olympics or not is not the subject for conjecture here. Frankly, I don’t care.
What interests me, on a purely dispassionate basis and partly as a result of the remarkable performance by Chambers as a drug-fuelled runner, is just how much human sporting potential could be achieved, in all fields, if drug taking was permissible. How much punishment could a heavyweight boxer soak up, never mind dish out, if they were souped up and numbed to pain on PCP (Angel dust) or cocaine? Could the world’s fastest man match the speed of athletes accelerated by amphetamines coursing through their bloodstreams? Of course, I recognise the injustice of clean-living, honest athletes unwittingly competing against less than sporting, sportsmen and women who deceitfully and furtively partake of illicit substances to create for them an unfair advantage. So, why not have a separate event for these latter sporting figures?
Just out of scientific curiosity, I’d like to see an Olympics exclusively for drug users and compare results with the ‘clean’ Olympics. The Paralympics afford disabled people to compete in a professional atmosphere without disadvantage. Why, then, not have an event tailored to the current taboo group? Few can disagree, surely, that the results would be extremely interesting. The current day UK is a society saturated in a fanatical devotion to a politically correct ethos riddled with double standards, reinforcing arguments supporting my appeal for alternative Olympics. For example, why are there no ‘Psychotic Olympics’ for the severely mentally ill? It can hardly be more dangerous than blind hammer and discus throwers, which reminds me I must go and look for my mail—my postman is blind!
Ta-ta!
Arthur.
Free association styled prose from Julian Cloran, visual artist, writer, poet and agent provocateur. Random musings, which are sometimes cynical, but always intended for amusement, stimulation and entertainment. Comments are welcomed so don't be shy. Simply click on 'comments' to post yours.
I think that Dwayne neeeded to be punished for failing, under present regulations, to abide by the rules of the game, but I don't think the punishment should go on for ever. He missed one Olympic Games but I think he should be allowed to take part this time. Apparently there is only one other country that has such harsh regulations. It might be interesting to have a separate set of games with no inhibitions about drug taking and see what speeds and heights might be reached! Love, Magda
ReplyDeleteDear Arthur Brain,
ReplyDeleteThat's got to be your name!
I'm hoping
for olympic hopping!
It's not funny
for those of us psychotic.
I mean I plan to enter
the race for the Quixotic.
ttfn,
Felony Ben
Another entertaining and discerning view on life! Probably a good idea except for the sacrificial nature of the event - providing a socially approved framework for people to fuck their health up!
ReplyDelete