Saturday 13 July 2013

VESTED INTERESTS

Plumes of smoke are fumes from a bloke with a lit pipe.
A smoker’s cough makes someone who gave up smoking sanctimoniously scoff.
Cough drops and cough mixtures are inaccurately named,
For giving people coughing fits they really can’t be blamed.
‘Don’t roll up! Don’t roll up!’ A crowd is urged by a promoter,
Outside an anti-smoking lobby’s AGM,
Until he’s told by a smoker who’s quite old: ‘Pipe down, man.:
For who were they to condemn?


Filter out all of life’s crap to avoid falling into the trap set by those with vested interests.
The Vested Interests Detection Officer invested his time in exposing such people,
But he was disabused of his suspicions by a man he wrongly accused.
‘Vested interests, me? No, I’m interested in vests!’
‘I beg your pardon,’ his wrongful accuser begs,
Before, red in the face, walking away on his podgy, trembling legs.
‘We all make mistakes.’ Later, his wife insists,
Her tone is placatory, but she balls her fists.
‘You’re right, I suppose,’ he says, then, an awkward silence follows and grows.


Elsewhere there are smokers with skin conditions, whose behaviour is quite rash,
Recommending the remedial properties of ash for dermatitis, fraudulently raising cash,
Which some of them spend on tobacco and some use to buy hash.
For smokers and non-smokers alike, life can sometimes be a drag.
Caught outdoors in a fierce hailstorm, inhaling in hail,
Breathing the fresh air of outdoors or indoors, air that’s stale.

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