Saturday, 25 September 2010


Like many people, I have a high regard for Ricky Hatton. A regard undiminished by recent sensationalised exposés of his cocaine abuse. If the former world champion has a drug problem he has my sympathy, but I cannot share the ‘disgust’ he was quoted as feeling.
  Over snorting cocaine? A snort of derision should greet the media-orchestrated process of apologetic self-abasement now expected from fallen role models.  
  Addressing the specifics, I wonder if even prolonged use of a class A drug is as dangerous to one’s mental health as a career enduring punches to the head.
  More broadly, when are the general public going to stop reacting with disappointment and surprise when individuals who famously excel at one thing prove fallible?

Tuesday, 21 September 2010


Da-licks—daleks with added tongues,
Daleks that breathe—daleks with lungs,
Daleks accepting bribes—daleks taking bungs.
Daleks in love, a contradiction in terms,
Daleks in curly wigs, daleks with perms?
Dalektric dreams, dialect of screams.
Daleks at Wimbledon,
Eating strawberries and cream,
Brightly polished daleks really shine and gleam.
Incognito daleks are daleks in disguise,
Daleks don’t wear glasses or have what we call eyes.
A slapstick sketch for daleks with lots of custard pies,
Simmer one in cooking oil until the dalek fries.
Daleks in batter don’t matter while they’re crisp,
When it comes to the crunch, daleks form a bunch,
They don’t have a tea break,
Nor do they stop for lunch.
An intuitive dalek, said to have a hunch,
Is afflicted with a speech impediment and sounds like Mr. Punch.
Stammering daleks, daleks with Tourette’s,
Daleks with dementia and daleks with regrets,
Remain the foes of Dr. Who that no one quite forgets.
Daleks distraught, daleks in Wales,
Inspiring fear—no dalek fails.
A dalek with hiccups might need to sip some oil,
Something a dalek is good at is unrelenting toil.
Despite their being logical, you can’t reason with a dalek,
Nor make them laugh or cry,
You can make them soaking wet and then—
You can let them bleeding dry.
Daleks are ridiculously compelling,
Have you ever wondered why?